I will keep writing letters

I am learning with time that I need to speak. Even if it stays in mid air, even if you scratch your head and say what? 

I am learning with time that you don't beat yourself up over melted chocolates. It's hot damn it, it's going to melt anyway. 

I am learning with time that it's not my fault if the window is broken or the shirt has creases. I am not going to salve my wounds anymore. Blue, red, green. Nothing you can give me.

I am learning with time that you don't take the world over your head if it feels heavy. That light is the air, light is the wave, light is the colour of my new dye.

I am learning with time that it's not all economics. It's half glass of that and the other half is dissolved in the ocean caressing my feet. 

I am learning with time that I don't know it. I never know it. The little boy from the heap of rubble, the one with oily tangles, the one with a face of ugly soot is going to look into my eyes, star eyed, wet and I might as well call it enlightenment under shades.

I am learning with time that when I stutter, when I cannot read what's written on the other wall. Crackling teeth. I go off like the gene is extinct.

I am learning with time that I do not water, I bleed. Water is there but it's just a mirage in Arabia whose politics I do not understand. Dry politics, bad lands, harsh weather.

I am learning with time that I let it go. I just have to sip a hot cup of coffee and watch the growing wrinkles on their hands. In the process, they ruined it and so do I. It's always in the ruins you find your lost treasures, burnt photographs and draw zig zag lines over dust of the storeroom.

I am learning with time that you never mean it sometimes. You run, you disappear. You keep the doors open. They are not you and you them. You still catch the wild knowing you catch cold, you catch saliva dropping jaws.

I am learning with time that I do not learn. I am transfixed. So stagnant that the algae grows over me. I get discarded to cornered garbage bins. I seek but I guard me and it's all so vulnerable. You touch me, I vanish. I am varnished with windchimes on the crossroads.