After dying thrice I am breathing......

I wonder how beautiful it would be 

To stop writing letters, nevermore 

To stop the need to pen everything down

To marry myself and wake up 

With a smile

Bright and wide

Sometimes I become so much of you 

That I cannot recall myself 

You don't understand how lovely 

How lovely it is to not know someone 

And still feel complete 

Because you would never know 

For I so painfully exist 

For I suffer to not want you

But rather to know me 

You have had dreams 

All I had was gloom

All I had was yellow wallpapers

All I had was skulls instead of dolls 

So stop right there.

Do not seek me. 

If you could,

Seek the child

And bring her,

Feathers.