My Dear So and So

Concretization of my detached persona is the sign of the times, they say. The more I am attracting the safer sides of me, the more I am able to be free, to detach, to let go. I read that dissociation with any idea, if it has to happen, is getting left with nothing but yourself. And, these days, I am truly left with nothing but myself. There are certain sides of me that are duty bound but I am eccentrically opinionated too and I find that is not a bad thing to be as long as you are left with nothing but yourself and you are secretly happy with it, slightly drifted apart and grossly objective. 

So, Dear So and So, I have not been good  because I had a hyperactive reactionary mechanism in place and I seriously would not have intended it back. 

So, Dear So and So, I have been bad and guilty and regretful and silent because I am that way. For long I have been trying to understand the myriad parts within me and I am a failure in that. As much as I am accountable to what did you feel, I am not accountable to how you did feel that. 

So, Dear So and So, I have been learning to not assume what someone is not. Here, I am being forgetful of what my version of love is, how I do possibly define all those nuances of it. But, I am what I am. I am what I am.

So, Dear So and So, I am doing things which I have never done before and you are remembered, loved and missed in all of them. 

Because I am what I am, I am what I am.