Loss and Failure

I see it clear as day 

I travel back with it to the very beginnings

when the earth was a dark green moss

with no uncounted, faceless heads

splaying across the dirty streets 

when reason didn't use to be blaring horns 

It doesn't hurt so much or does it?

Whether it's a marooned ant or 

a colony of 'em carrying dead bodies 

on their backs 

Doing the drowsy god's work

I wonder where did I go wrong?

Where did we all go wrong? 

I never supposed to be carrying 

rusted cuffs in my womb

weak in my knees 

a throbbing cyst, an undesirable growth 

I surprisingly grieve for 

Or did I, all this time? 

I mean the senselessness of it, 

the loss, all of it 

I just don't get it

All I do is mumble my incantations,

hold the glass in mid air & pray 

The frenzied fury of Bacchus 

Divided to the vein 

Cleaving my heart into two

You slide between my bosom

Look at me with those soggy eyes

Breathe near & demand justice 

I put it on a lever to weigh it

But how do you weigh such a thing?

I mean, how do you weigh

justice of all my love based 

on a condition?