Transporting back to your childhood innocence: I am breathing life these days and it’s not that bad

Love, loss and longing. This “L” archetype has encompassed my entire life into it. With time, I realized that one cannot be found until you have religiously experienced the other. Many people ask me often if there is an alternative way to experience things in silos. They are most troubled by the fact that why is it necessary to go through loss to find love or longing to find the sweetest pleasures of life. As a matter of fact, it’s not bad to ask things in a simpler, more easier way. Neither, the hardest things to find are the most loveliest. 

What I have learnt clumsily wading through the rough seas of life as we see it, feel it, live it is that there is no one solution to a given problem. How one witnesses the trials and tribulations of life are one’s own and it is in vain to think that things could have been the other way around. Because they simply could not have been so.

My reality is my own.

I can either accept it or escape it. 

I can either regret it or find ways to deal with it. 

I can either be ashamed of it or confront it with the last ounce of courage left in me.

Life is what I choose to do with it. 

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UNTITLED

"Bloomed rose,

Pleasant fragrance;

Its aroma cannot last long 

Dipped the stalk

Watered my rose 

Again, the rose 

Bloomed for more 

Will the aroma still everlast for long?

If you could see it 

I found my love song."

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My sister often asks me how she can make things everlast the test of time. And, I think we all have this certain itch within all of us to do exactly that, make things everlast when we know deep in our hearts that there is no permanence here, only transient, dynamic hopes to cling to, to somehow reach the end. 

And, I certainly believe there are no right things to do at the right moment. Life is just a shit load of trials and mistakes. No one’s really going to come for you, if you cannot come for yourself. 

If you are shattered, if you are broken, hurt, take your time. Chant hope, hope, hope until it finally comes to you. There is no weakness in repetition. We all learn at different paces. 

You are not running out of time. 

Do not lose yourself. 

Believe even when there is nothing to believe. 

If someone tells you that you are not keeping up, that you will never make it. Let me tell you, if you really know in your heart that you are trying, you would eventually do something, make sense of this chaotic goddamn of an universe. Just know that isolation is anathema to community love and without it you can vain try to be happy. And, happiness matters a lot, lot. More than even your high-paying jobs, sassy clothes, stable career and bla bla bla.  

When I sometimes feel down, I think of all those who have written with literally blood on their fingers. 

Sometimes you can do a lot by simply existing. 

You can make people smile, you can experience the leaves turn, you can tell your story. 

Trust me, one of the biggest strengths to find is to just find the strength of waking up everyday. To consider your body as a sacred gift.

Remember one time when you were crouching on a cold and wet bathroom floor somewhere, not knowing how to get past this narrowing that you are experiencing, your legs dragged you out of not just the bathroom, but the perception that has been the death of you, the illusory cage you have built all around you. 

Sweetheart, you are your own love.

You are your own home. 

You think you will paint a ugly canvas but then honey think did you not, bought the crayons, really took the pains to sit down one lazy afternoon to actually do it? I think when adulting gets hard, we must try to relish the little child in all of us. Think about the crayons, the paper clippings, the sound of the same familiar pair of scissors cutting across a sheet of paper, it’s a welcome day off from the metallic life that we live on most of our days. Well, there is no harm in trying. 

Poem credits: "Untitled" by Kirti