From your acid trip to my ecstatic journey of dreams

Happily sucking on my mama’s nip

Did I demand anything except the drowsy sunny noon? 

Yet they came unbothered to take me and anoint me as the product of this civilization 

I looked around and cried as hard as I could,

“I do not want to be ordered and complete, you brute!” 

I walk with my hips dangling 

white chalk marks, nails dirty 

I survive on the smell of my lover’s armpits

 

That makes me the civilization’s greatest irony, a walking buffoon per se 

I grow nonetheless to live among 

grotesque quarters and dream of glass 

while they rape my land 

I dream of how much sky is lost 

There are things I do not understand 

Things beyond the flesh 

I smell it in the damp rain

I sniff it like a lonely boat 

on the backwaters of Kerala 

Kerala do not have the bush 

or does it? 

That makes me the civilization’s greatest irony, a walking buffoon per se 

I mean, fuck

I do not see much

I remember a lot lot, it's deafening 

A lot could also be said and heard and done,

but my sister bangs it on the wall,

thinking rage would bring the fireworks somehow 

Well, life is like that, a pastiche of 

terrible terrible emotions 

The index says when you are 

‘actively searching for employment’,

searching for love makes you a gay fatalist

I searched it all in 2021

There is a giant hole at the centre of my heart 

A big and deep loss of metaphors

If it is any good to hear, 

I dance like a cultured ape now,

The music is not the same 

(Apparently they play Sabrina these days) 

There is no head tossing, 

I do not cup those locks anymore 

That makes me the civilization’s greatest irony, a walking buffoon per se 

God, how I will make sure I am the last of it though